This absolutely sums up where I’m at right now.
When I tell people I am separated and they ask me what that means… Well, it is definitely a chance for each of us to find out who we are and become who God made us. This is the tricky part. Will the people we each discover we are compliment the other? Or be a combination that requires one or both to compromise their very souls, as it seems we’ve done for the past two years? Maybe.
Like everything in my present life, I am learning to be open to love. Although I am content with being alone, I am not marching around with a wall up around my heart, resolved to be single. With love in general, I am being open. I picture my life coach Alexis sitting across from me at Honest Weight, palms up, but not clenched. What a fantastic image. Yeah, open like that!
Open like that to life, really! To living anywhere. To a new career… or three (because why I can’t I have three part-time jobs instead of one traditional full-time job)? To finding a part of me I thought had died. To God’s plans being so much more than I can ask or imagine that I couldn’t possibly process them even if He showed me the big picture. To second chances and new experiences (Hello Haiti)!
Which brings me to “planning my next adventure.” Notice that item three does not simply say “having an adventure” or “planning”. That’s where I seem to confuse people. True, I want adventure in the great wide somewhere (Did she just quote a Disney princess? Yup)!
Yes, there is a spark that adventures ignite in me, whether they be a career change, an Ironman, or a trip to a town in Texas where I’ve never been, to join a group of strangers for a day spent handing Ironman medals to children fighting cancer. And I am also enticed by the lessons that any good adventure will instill!
But sometimes I sense that others try to tame this, as if I need to settle down, or my dreams, goals and adventures are irrational, instead of inspiring. And I am finally at a point where I will fiercely resist that. Should that land me in the “single” category, so be it! But don’t be mistaken, I am not reckless in the adventures I pursue. I’m not necessarily a spontaneous, free-spirit. Nor am I careless in my approach. I just dream big… so I can DO life big!
I approach epic opportunities with an open heart, and take the next step, and the next. And if upon stepping out in faith, a door opens, and it complements what my heart is after, then it’s time to start planning. And to me, that’s half the joy of it!
Because an adventure planner can’t have too many journals! Just got my Passion Planner today, and it might be my favorite!
I am not partial to the idea of labels these days, and will shy away from “single” or “taken” in favor of “planning my next adventure.” And if in doing so, I discover that I am not in the next adventure alone, I wouldn’t be opposed to that 🙂 I am neither clinging to this idea of love, nor pushing it away. I am planning my next adventure (or three!) with my palms up and my heart open!