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Sara Stover

Living a story worth telling. Shining a light on stories worth sharing.



Why put it out there, this very personal journey? Why broadcast it?! I have asked myself that each time I type up a post. Moments later I press “publish” anyhow! Why?

Because… Ironman. When I was training for my first Ironman back in 2011, before I knew there existed an entire community of fellow crazy people, I scoured the internet for articles for first-timers. I poured through posts full of tips and race recaps and my favorite… Those raw posts full of doubt and discovery. It was these bloggers that made me feel that I wasn’t alone in my discouragement or terror over this path I was on!

But being separated? That is not a topic that seems to be well documented by anyone but jaded lovers and psychologists. Unlike Ironman, I was aware that plenty of us are or have been separated. Yet most people were shying away from speaking about their experience until after they either reconciled, or divorced. I considered briefly keeping my own journey locked away safely in my personal journal until I am on the other side of this. After all, no one writes about this. So it must be taboo right?

However to do so would mean denying two of the biggest lessons that I have learned over the past few years!

do something

  1. Stop wondering! When I stopped wondering and started BEING that somebody in sport, everything changed. I started racing for causes and charities. And I discovered I was not alone in using sport as a platform for making a difference!  So after about the 15th time of asking myself “Why doesn’t somebody write something about that?” I decided to be that SOMEBODY again and speak up about being separated.
  2. Stop accepting what the world says is taboo! If you have been reading my blog for any extensive period of time, you are aware that I am constantly challenging this! And addressing things like
  • Being ridiculed for being scrappy and flat  – FLAT shaming is real too people!
  • God and the Bible –  At a time when it’s assumed that many “Christians” have guns and align themselves with a political party, I am living a different version of this “religion” and my version believes in a loving God that has a big plan that we can be a part of if we recognize our soul print (exactly what it sounds like, the unique fingerprint of your SOUL), and look for ways to help others. I guess that my version isn’t really a “religion” at all then. Sorry, not sorry.
  • Dropping out of a triathlon – DNFs are so not stylish!
  • And of course, the post about my fibroid surgery – I really went there!
  • And now… Being separated – Much like my race reports, this will eventually have a recap 🙂

So it’s nothing new for me to be outspoken regarding the not-so-trendy topics. It occurred to me that surely I am not the only one yelling “Alexa, find me a blog about ‘surviving separation!'”

My hope is that in writing about this NOW (as opposed to when I’m on the other side of it) that somebody out there will feel like they are understood. Feel a little less alone and scared and ashamed. Feel a little more loved!  That’s why I am broadcasting my journey from loneliness to alone, from separated to hopeful, from terrified to thriving. That’s why I am starting the dialogue!


This entry was posted in Life.
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